


Never Let Me Go

by casey_sms (shinygreenwords), shinygreenwords



Category: The Social Network
Genre: Angst, Crying, Future Fic, M/M, Mindfuck, Unrequited Love, implied sex, implied suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-25
Updated: 2011-01-25
Packaged: 2017-10-15 02:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/155880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/casey_sms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/shinygreenwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Futurefic. <i>Mark has never let himself cry over Eduardo.</i></p><p>For <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/390.html?thread=1390470#t1390470">this prompt</a> at <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/"><b>tsn_kinkmeme</b></a> requesting Mark/Eduardo and Crying!Mark.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Let Me Go

Mark has never let himself cry over Eduardo. Not after the settlement, not after Eduardo rejected his apology and not now.

Mark was angry at Eduardo when he, they found him. Eduardo had been back to where he had happier times, away from the cutthroat corporate world. He’d gone back to Harvard, hanging in an empty dorm room in semester break. He had wanted to shake Eduardo and ask him what he had been thinking, how much he worried them even after but obviously, Eduardo hadn’t been thinking. He didn’t want to see Mark the one time he’d turned up at Eduardo’s doorstep. He refused to pretend that they’d ever been friends, more than friends. He wouldn’t forgive him. He wouldn’t return Mark’s nervous smile or accept his apology. Despite Mark’s every effort, Eduardo had been cold. So cold. Unresponsive, they said. Mark could barely bring himself to speak to him, their conversions filled with tense awkward silences. Eduardo had become a complete stranger. Mark knew he deserved that. But Eduardo deserved to be happy. He didn’t seem happy. His eyes were dead.

Eduardo had also become a ruthless businessman. He bought companies and took them apart. For the first time, people hated him and they hated him even more than they hated Mark. Even after the movie, people didn’t really hate Mark so much as try to understand him. Mark didn’t understand Eduardo. He had become richer than Mark and he just kept going. Even Mark knew that he wasn’t in college anymore. Eduardo had become a machine so much better than Mark. Everyone in the press speculated Eduardo had wanted to buy Facebook and break it up too. But he hadn’t. In fact, he still owned the same stake he got from the settlement. He didn’t sell it. He didn’t have much to do with Facebook at all. Eduardo had become his own man. His own island. He was seen even less than Mark in the public.

 _“You’re not worth my time,” Eduardo sneered. “I don’t ever want to see you again. If I do find you around here, I’ll call the cops on you. You’re nothing to me now. Less than nothing.” He slammed the door shut._

Still, Mark visited Eduardo regularly, secretly, hoping that he could change things. He had to take the risk. He stood at his doorstep, talking to the door. Some how. Some time. Some day.

“Fuck you Eduardo, fuck you! Why couldn’t you just let me in? I loved you! I love you. I know I ruined us. You could never let it go. You didn’t even have the guts to tell me, to tell anyone your little secret. I couldn’t read your mind. God, what did you want from me? I tried to do everything to get you to forgive me. I wanted you to be happy. I just wanted you back. All I wanted was you. You didn’t have to run away. You didn’t have to do that.”

Mark feels embarrassed at the way he had been yelling. What if someone had overheard? They would think he’d finally cracked under the stress. But no one is around. No one ever visits Eduardo but him.

“Say something. Say anything Wardo. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you ok? I’m sorry I fucked up. Everyone’s sorry for what they said. I’d do anything to change how it was. Anything. Fuck Facebook, fuck Sean, fuck everything…I’d choose you. I know I was wrong. It’s such a cliché but it’s true. I’d give anything to have you back.”

Mark shoves his hands into his pockets of his hoodie. It was getting chilly, another summer had passed. He keeps his head bowed.

“I’m not really angry at you, Wardo,” he confessed. “I know you’re happier where you are now... away from me. I just...I wish you would come back to me.”

“I even brought something for you,” Mark smiles wickedly, a hint of his college self. He reveals the gift he had stashed in his rucksack and holds them out to Eduardo like an olive branch, hoping that he’ll take them. “I know you were never a great fan of them but they’re your favorite color.” It’s the color he sees richest so it’s his favorite color too. It used to be something they shared.

 _Eduardo loves the color blue because they were the color of Mark’s eyes but he would never tell him such a sappy thing. Instead he says, “I love you.” He holds onto Mark, afraid to let him go. “I wish we could stay like this forever.”_

Mark kneels as he leaves the crumpled forget-me-nots on Eduardo’s grave.

 **Eduardo Saverin  
(1982-2012)**

Mark feels the tears prickle his eyes when he finally chokes out what he came here to say, “I miss you so much.”

>  _Marc says the suffering that we don’t see  
>  still makes a sort of sound—a subtle, soft  
> noise, nothing like the cries of screams that we  
> might think of…It’s like the heaving  
> of a stone into a lake, before it drops.  
> It’s shy, it’s barely there. It never stops._ \- Kim Addonizio, “The Sound

  


**Author's Note:**

> I was experimenting with this, it'd probably work better without the warnings but I don't like to give people nasty surprises.


End file.
